Not Interested
by Captain BlueCanary
Summary: There are many stories where a fanatic gets into the Death Note world, but what if they couldn't stand Death Note? Meet Elizabeth, a 14 year old Death Note anti-fan, who accidently gets into the Death Note universe. And she's not happy about it...
1. The Duel

Hi. I AM a death note fan, just for the record. I don't own death note

I never liked Death Note. I thought L was a pervert and Mello was an overly violent bimbo. I never got why Suzi thought L was sweet and Mello the very essence of cool. So it was just my luck that I just _had_ to find myself walking among them. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The best place to start is the beginning and it all started on my birthday so…

"Open mine next, open mine next!" May squealed.

"Is this yours?" I asked, pointing at a large flat present covered in red paper. May nodded; trust her to get a book. I picked it up and ripped off the paper. A copy of "The Actor's Encyclopaedia" fell onto my lap, "You know me way too well. Thanks!"

I gave her a hug and reached for the last present. The label said Suzi. I looked up at her and she gave me a big smile as I started to open it, I inwardly gulped as I spied a sleeved arm. I pulled off the rest of the paper to reveal a plush of everyone's favourite panda, I mean detective. I forced a smile.

"Thanks, it's very… soft," I said, not wanting to look rude.

"Your welcome. I knew you'd love it!" Suzi exclaimed.

Later that night, after everyone had left, I looked at all the presents I'd been given. There was the make-up from my parents, the CD from Amy, the sweets from Kate, the soft toy cow from Hanna (cows are my favourite animal), the book from May and the dreaded plush from Suzi. I glanced at the clock, eight pm but it was already dark, a downside of having your birthday on the first of February (I remembered the excited phone call from Suzi "Oh my God, you have the same birthday as Matt!"). I grabbed the soft toys and a torch and set out to visit my tree house. Yeah, I know, tree houses are really babyish but I've made it really cool with pillows and things like that. It's where I keep all my soft toys because I used have a really big collection of them, well I still do really, I just don't collect them anymore. I started to climb the ladder, kinda difficult when you're holding two soft toys. I pulled myself into the little, wooden building and threw L across the room as I flopped into one of the beanbags. Note to self: L makes a good projectile. I wondered idly whether the real L would be better as I tried to decide on a name for my cow. I toyed around with Dani and Alex but finally choose Sam. There was no room for her here so I was going to bring her back to the house with me. It started to get lighter. I can't have been out that long. After a couple of minutes, I noticed that the trees around me didn't grow anywhere near my house and it was light enough for me to turn off my torch, maybe I fell asleep in the tree house? The trees started to thin up ahead. I ran towards the light, I was so grounded, and promptly ran into someone. Two someones actually, two people that I, sadly, recognised immediately. My first thought was that I'd gone the wrong way and met a couple of cosplayers, crap. Matt and Mello cosplayers to be exact or, as I like to call them, Gameboy and Bimbo. Honesty, can't people cosplay from a good manga for once instead of Death Note and Naruto all the time?

"Who are you?" Bimbo demanded.

"Near" I said sarcastically.

"I'm almost dying laughing. Who are you?" Bimbo took a step forward with a murderous look in his eye. Now, I'm no idiot but I never let myself be intimidated. I stepped forward myself.

"What's it to you?" I challenged.

"Why you little…" He drew his arm back to punch me but Mr. Gameboy put his hand on Bimbo shoulder and shook his head.

"Don't hit a girl, mate," he said, "Just tell him or he's gonna take it out on me for the rest of the day."

"I'm Elizabeth" I said grudgingly.

"How did you get in here?" Bimbo asked in a very slightly calmer voice.

"What are you talking about? I just came though ther-" I turned around to point and stopped dead. Right where I had walked less than two minutes ago was a solid wall. Great, now I look like a burglar. Behind me, the two boys were discussing whether to take me to some guy called "Rodger".

"Nah, L's here. He'll sort her out," Bimbo said with an evil smile. Gameboy nodded. God, are these people obsessed or what?

"Oi, Lizzie! Come with us!" Bimbo yelled.

"For the love of God, my name is Elizabeth! Not Lizzie, not Beth! Elizabeth!" I grumbled as I followed them across a large lawn. Bimbo opened the door to what looked a large manor house.

"Ladies first. Beth," he said. I glared at him and stomped through the door. They lend me through to a grand sitting room. I have to say, I was impressed. Sitting on one of the old couches in that annoying way, the way that makes me want sneak up behind him with a fog horn, and surrounded by children was Mr. Panda, I mean L. Or someone cosplaying as him, but I was beginning to slightly doubt that. No! I must be going mad! I am not in the Death Note universe. That only happens in fan fiction written by obsessed fans… I think. The L person looked at me with blank eyes. He truly looked like L; I have to give him that. I was only vaguely aware of Bimbo explaining things to Panda Man. I was to busy thinking, if this was the Death Note word, and I'm not saying it is, then this means I could muck around with the timeline. Ha, I'm just too evil.

"Mello tells me that he found you on the grounds, which are protected by state of the art security systems, with nothing but that toy," L dude said. God I hate that annoying monotone.

"Yup. That's pretty much it," I said, trying to figure out how to tell if it was the real L or not.

"Would you mind telling me how?"

"Would you mind getting a life?" There was a collective gasp from all the kids.

"You can't speak to L like that?!" Bimbo shouted.

"Bimbo, I can do what ever I want, just 'cos you idolise that bloke doesn't mean I have to!" I yelled back. Bimbo gave out a strangled yelp and ran at me; I quickly stepped out of the way and turned around to kick him square in the face. Bimbo clutched at his now very bloody and probably broken nose and glared at me. I've been taking kickboxing for the last five years and gotten quite good at it. If you ask me kickboxing beats capoaira hands down.

"That was quite impressive. I wonder…" L trailed off.

"Hello? As far as I know, there are no mind readers here." L was beginning to hack me off

"I was wondering if you would beat me in a fight," L said and then he smiled, boy he has a creepy smile. I grinned at the challenge.

"Bring it on, panda man." I said.

"Please, call me Ryuzaki."

"Like Hell I will." I followed him outside, where the early morning sun was casting long shadows across the lawn. He stopped about twenty meters away the building and turned around. Looking at him, I inwardly laughed. Him? A good fighter? Inwardly, I was on the floor in hysterics.

"Let's say… first to get the other on their back?" L-Guy said, looking up at me. Well, I'm no Goliath but this guy was, like eight inches shorter than me, though it was probably due to him standing all hunched over.

"Well you can start by buying me a drink," I joked. He didn't get it. Nether, apparently, did the audience that had gathered around us. I counted down, "Three, two, one, go!"

He dropped like a stone and swung his leg around. I took a step backwards and, when he was standing up, jumped and kicked him on the shoulder. Really, it was just a tap but one of the girl in the crowd still gave a small scream. They started to chant.

"L, L, L, L, L, L, L," the said letter took advantage of my moment of distraction and tried tackle me to the ground. I broke free of his grip a swung round to kick him. Just as he did the exact same thing. We both caught each other's foot and twisted. I landed with a thump on my front. Turning around I saw that He Who's Name Is A Letter was lying on his back. I sprung to my feet

"Woo hoo! I win!" I yelled.

"What do you mean?! It was a draw!" Mr Tight-Pants yelled back.

"Nope. The winner was the first to get the other on their _back_. I landed on my front."

"Now Mello, Elizabeth bet me fairly," Bed Head Man turned to me, "Though you did jut win on a technicality,"

So, now I'm in the Death Note universe. Joy. Absolute Joy.

And that's just the start of my story…

How ws it? Should I continue? You decide!


	2. Leave Me Alone

Hello! Sorry for my inactivity! So, after much procrasination, here is chapter two of Not Interested!

I, sadly, do not own Death Note.

Stupid L and his stupid fans (well they call they call themselves heirs), they can rot in Hell for all I care. On his stupid orders I am permanently tailed by one or another of his idiotic cronies. Right now it's pyjama boy (Near). I was just sitting outside, minding my own business (well, throwing stuff at Mello, but that's irrelevant), and he comes up to me and says, "I've been told to follow you and make sure you don't leak pictures of L to anyone."

Announcing he's going to practically stalk me, calm as anything! And L's just earned himself another nickname, Paranoid Panda. What is he afraid of? Paparazzi? He probably doesn't cut or comb his hair because he's scared of people making voodoo dolls of him. But to be honest, I would be tempted…

"Where are you going?" Sheep boy asked as I walked off.

"I need a word with Mr Legal-Grey-Areas," I replied, my tone annoyed, "Do you know where he is?"

"Follow me," he said, and then he _grabbed my hand_ and stars towing my off somewhere. Honestly does this boy have no concept of personal space? Probably not, seeing who his idol is. Anyway, he shows me into this dining hall and in the corner, lo and behold, sits the perverted panda himself. And surprise surprise, he is eating enough sweets to cause a _normal _person to start bouncing off the walls. He is perfectly calm though, which further supports my theory that he is _not normal_. But for my plan to work I must _try _to be nice to him. I sat down opposite him and said brightly, "I hear you working on the Kira case, any new developments?"

"I cannot tell you any of our new leads as security has gone up since we sadly lost one of the task force recently," he tells me. Lost one of the task force… Oh! Of course! Monkey man! Perfect.

"Ah. The Sakura T.V. incident." I said sadly.

"How did you know about that?" Ru-Ru (L) said sharply. Or as sharply as you can say something with a monotone.

"YouTube," I said dismissively, "If you ask me, the person who sent those tapes was A: not the real Kira, and B: female." Ha! If this doesn't get me on the Task Force then nothing will. And if I get on the Task Force, image the havoc I could cause.

"Interesting, and what is you evidence to prove these theories?" Ru-Ru asked. Crap. Hadn't thought of that. Looks like I'll have to wing it.

"Well, um, the criminals killed by Kira two are different than those killed by Kira one and Kira two seems to see thing from a more emotional perspective then Kira one," I blurted out, hoping he wouldn't suspicions, it would be just my luck if he did.

"Yes, that is interesting. We had already deduced that it was another Kira but we hadn't thought there was anything that could narrow down the gender. Thank you."

I hesitated for a second and then blurted out, "Can I join the taskforce?"

He looked at me for a second then said carefully, "I will have to discuss it with the taskforce. This is a very dangerous case and they might not like having someone so young on the team."

I nodded and sprinted away.

L's Point Of View

This girl is very strange. She looks like an average fourteen year old, average height, medium length brown hair, brown eyes and a fierce face. At least, I think it always looks fierce but I don't think she's actually smiled since she arrived, so I have nothing to compare. Her arrival itself was strange; she just turned up out of nowhere and refuses to tell anyone anything except her first name. She wasn't even surprised to find out that I am L, she just accepted it.

Yes, very strange indeed.

Then we get to what she just told me. This girl, Elizabeth she calls herself, seems to be of average intelligence at best but she spotted something I myself missed. At first I suspected she might be KIRA but I quickly disposed of that theory. KIRA thinks with his head but Elizabeth thinks with her heart or at least with her emotions. But it would still be wise to have her close, just in case. Today is going to be a long day.

Elizabeth's Point Of View

Two Hours Later

That Sheep is not as smart as he makes it out to be. It only took me half an hour to give him the slip. First I tried to hide in one of the computer suites (they have five. Seriously, I counted!) and try to find my school website, I'm pretty sure that I'm on it somewhere, but no luck there all password protected, so I ditched that idea and went outside. The grounds are huge! There's a small wooded area near the wall surrounding the orphanage and that's where I am now, standing behind a tree. A hula hoop rolled passed me and I heard someone running after it. As they were about to pass my hiding place I stepped out from behind the tree and placed a hand on the hula hoop's owner, stopping them in their tracks. It was a small girl of about eight, perfect.

"Where do you think your going?" I asked her in a grave tone.

"To get my hula hoop back." She replied, trying to push past me.

"What? In there? You can't go in _there," _I said in my gravest voice.

"Why not?" She answered stubbornly. God I hate kids.

"You mean you don't know what happened here?" I said, faking disbelief. It worked, behind her stubborn expression I saw a glimmer of fear.

"Don't know what happened?"

"Well, exactly one hundred years ago today, a girl wandered into these woods and went missing. And when they found her, _something_ had _eaten_ all of her organs." I paused for effect, then continued, "The thing is, they did it _without piercing the skin_. Well, save for one cut on the back of her leg." That last was pure, on the spot, inspiration.

"H-how d-do you know th-this?" Bingo, she was stuttering, now for the final blow. I crouched down so that my face was level with hers.

"I know this because," I stood up, twisted my leg around and yanked up my trouser leg, revealing a thin scar running up the back of my leg. Really it was just from falling out a tree when I was ten, I knew it would come in handy! , "Because _I am that girl_."

The little pipsqueak looked at the scar with a look of horror and fear then ran away yelling "Ghost! Ghost!"

Ha ha, this is going to be more fun than I thought.

The time till chapter three is definetly going to be shorter, don't worry! Please review and I will try my best to reply!

Captain B


End file.
